I drew a picture of you.

You're a celtic rapper, and because you're celtic, you have every colour of hair on you.

FRICKIN' SNOW

DOG

That there is a dog drowning in the two and a half feet of snow we have, and I let her out this morning and she disappeared.There's a snowman because I can't make one out of real snow, so I thought I'd make one out of computer snow. That image below is a pterodaschund. It's long, and it has wings and a scary beak face.  I made one out of blutack, and we looked at eachother, and it thought "What the utter fuck is this? Because it's a scene kid, now, obviously. That's what scene kids say.

SO IT SNOWED. Yeah. I personally don't like snow, because it's cold and wet and adores cleavage. People do though. I don't know how. ANYWAY...
Revel in the pterodaschund, and the picture of Simpledog swimming in the snow.

PTERODASCHUND

YANO

I drew a picture of an artist... She's little and has a pencil. See?                                      >points>
SO it's nearly... that time of year again, and this year I really don't care. I think I'm getting better at not being insanely excited about things, so is that what happens when you get old? I guess it is. It's about the time, RIGHTNOWASIWRITETHESEWORDS that people start coming out of my school. It isn't now, idiot. Now it's a minute after people start coming out of my school. You know how when you think, and it's in a voice? I reckon many people wouldn't recognise that voice if they heard it in public. At all. I made a nearly christmas resolution to blog more. I hope to make this into a very unsophisticated blog. I'll spam you with my stunning pictures.

If you can't see it, it's a dude in a park with a dog and a fag. And rain. Etc. Oh, and a quiff... >points>
BYE
~I should get dressed, but the sense of not being bothered is so heavy...
~"i'ma have to tidy my room. FML." T.T Shut up, you silly person.

इ ऍम फिघ्तोंग अ द्रगों अन लोसिंग

I am fighting a dragon and losing, and I am fihgting it because it chased me, and I am losing ecaue it caught up after hotwiring my defenses and fucking off with them.





I really fucking hate this dragon.

His eyes are different colours, you see.

They are. One is very very blue, and the other is very very green with a brown patch on it. He hates it. He generally hates a lot of things. HE is a six-foot-two sixteen year old northern irishman whose accent goes completely out of control when he gets pissed off. And his name is icredibly un-irish sounding. Zachary Scott Draynon.
He hates technology, he hates people who don't know where their own organs are, and he hates his family. He also hates anyone who dares ask him about his family, and will go all irish and loud on you. He hates his family because something awful happened years ago that resulted in his green eye's brown patch and in his parents moving away from each other, FAR away, and him having to swap between all his family members even though he is supposed to be in Ireland. This strange looking, curly haired, friendlier-than-is-healthy young man knows more about me than I do myself, yet I still know nothing about him. All I know is what I just said. Oh, and that he wears all black all the time and can only see out of his blue eye, and that he has long and detailed conversations with himself under his breath all the time. hence, he turns heads. he also reads with his head cocked to the left because it's his left eye that works. He wrinkles his nose when he coughs, and bites his nails when he's stressed, and that he has a stupid capacity for bearing pain, physical and mental. I know this because a cow hurt him and I only found out why he was being stroppy when he turned to a nurse on the way out of the hospital, as thought an afterthought, pulled his sleeve up to reveal a bone sticking through the skin and said "I think there's something up with this." The nurse's eyes nearly rolled out of her head. I also know that he always starts to say euros instead of pounds, and jumps like he's been stung and freezes when strangers brush past him. That's all.

overthought re-organisation.

As I dry-heaved over the loo for the umpteenth time today, I thought about how my window was open and how someone, anyone (theives, murderers) could scale the clematis, get in through my big (visibly open)windows and could be waiting outside the (evidently occupied) bathroom for me to come out and lose my life to a well aimed pair of scissors or something. I thought about this until I found myself tiptoeing out holding the lid of the loo piston and wondering how many well aimed hits it would take to decapitate a bald, vicous eight-foot-tall Russian contortionist/serial killer. I then slept with the top of the loo by my bed. I worry about me. So now, when I was re-organising my bag to fit medicine, makeup, technology and food in I put them all in seperate bags, added a purse for emergency jewellery storage, a pair of flat shoes in case I get kicked out/the house burns down and I have to live in the wilds of st Tropez. Hmm. Then, still on having to survive in an unrealistic and stupid situation, I found an old broken umbrella that I could spear blown cows with (getting money of farmers for doing a job. hehe) and spear nuts, berries and possibly small children, along with eight-foot-tall bald acrobatic Russian contortionist serial psycho killers that have hunted ME down for some obscure reason. That is all. Orevwa.

P.S: Orevwa is a word. It's hatian for g'bye. I'm not retarded.

Dear wife- I want you to see this.

You haven't been online in like... ages. So you won't know that My parents had made an appointment with the hospital to try me with chemo this afternoon. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SO NOT KNOW HOW PEOPLE SURVIVE IT. I don't think I am. Well I sure as fuck don't FEEL like I am. xxx

SHUT UP.

Stop telling people I don't know things about me! It's anoying! And then they talk to My family about something we really REALLY do NOT want to hear ANY MORE about. No, talking about it won't make it better. So just leave it. Please. If you were abused or ill or whatever you wouldn't like the illness or abuse to be the only thing anyone vevr talked about to you ever, would you? NO.

OUTRAGE!!!

There is a small problem in the 'hood. Because, we have recently discovered, to our UTTER DISGUST, that people have ben adressing eachother as "wife". WE are the only people who can do that, PONDSCUM!!! GIVE US OUR IDENTITIES BACK!! IT'S... IT'S JUST NOT FAIR, 'KAY????!?!?!?




A wifey is for lifey, not just for high school.

deal.

You see, theres this girl...

At my farm, theres a girl that wants to ride my horse. She wants to ride my horse in shows, and win things on her. My horse is 21. She looks 3, and thinks she's 3, but that doesn't change the fact that this girl is fat and to cope with the weight my horse tries to run fast, and run fast crossing her back feet over. I worry about my horse. She is beautiful and wild and dark and fast but she is not designed to carry fat people. She is also badly behaved, so with the added coping-with-fat-children-walk that she has developed, she looks awfully behaved. So this makes the girl pull and pull on the reins until my horse is trying desperately not to gag and still go fast enough to carry this fat child. The fat child thinks that I am a pushover with solo, and that I need to be a better rider for her because she is wayward. Next time she asks to ride her, I am going to shout at her for being fat, being mean, not knowing she is fat and mean, and to never ever ride or look at my poor poor horse again because if you hurt her I will hunt you down and run you over with a tractor you fat little shit. Now get off our farm, because you rode your last horse into the ground, you're going to ride your horses into the ground and then you're going to ride MY horse into the ground. Also, she only pulls when you ride her because she's trying to go fast so she gets home with minimum damage done by your MASSIVE ARSE. So don't hit my horse. She's precious. And why the hell would I put a rug onher in summer? Or shave off her coat in winter? Or hit her with a stick when she's badly behaved? You're badly behaved. Have I hit YOU with a stick yet? No. But oh, do I want to. And you wonder why the kittens scratch you and wail when you come near? It's because you pull them away from suckling and squeal and hold them too tight until they cry. You make me so angry. You don;t know how to read animals at all. Kittens shouldn't ever be made to cry by a human being. Nothing should. You don't deserve the dignification. You don't even deserve acknowledgement by them. You think you are better than us, the people who's horses actually trust us enough to follow us and run around in the feild with us because they know we won't hurt them. If you hurt or even upset a single animal on this farm, we'll list you, kick you off, and keep your horses because they deserve better than someone who can't even tell how tall they are. Darcy isn't 15:2- she's 14:2. Anyone can see that. It's not cool to have a 'big' horse if you don't know how to ride it. Which you don't. And as for the never fitting in at schools... I really can't think why. I mean it's not like you're spoiled and obnoxious. Oh, and Solo sneezes in your general direction. She doesn't have thrush either, and she is NOT fat.

Boobs.

I can't really think what to say. But my wife and I have decided we love boobs. Boobs are wonderful. They're like Jelly... and they try to break free all the time.

MY WIFE in society

Ariane Holly Dean, Az to the gang, is a typical teenage girl on the inside, but on the outside she is
Brilliantly Beautiful, but the ordinary typicality on the inside ends at the whole thinking she isn't.
Ordinary girls may think they are Ugly when they are actually glorious to look at, but think
The boring, flat things. Well, they only show the Boring flat things. And they make up for
Their boring flatness by doing Thrilling things, like hanging around in a park with drugs etcetera,
Longing to seem Interesting and Colourful, like Nerds and Emos, who do interesting things that
Entertain, and they go out of their way to not look and be the same as everyone else. The
Only way you can stereotype the Modern Nerd, is that they all look induvidual, wearing bright
Fabrics, old clothes, used clothes, lived in clothes, or just any old Thrown-together Thing of some
Totally random set, with no code. The Common or Garden Chav, however, are always clean,
Overly perfumed, overly made up, and wear enough immaculate but tasteless acrylics to make
Poor, innocent citizens' eyes bleed. The greater spotted chav shows no such redeeming features.
I firmly believe in My Wife's induviduality, and as I mentioned earlier, she has plenty. Her only
Completely normal thing is her typically human opinion of her appearance.
And she has a Mrwife, too. I don't know him well, but what I have seen shows him as a
Loving Mrwife, and as someone well suited and not afraid to show themself as themself.
My personal secret dream is to become a best wife at their wedding. That'd be grand.
Of course there are the other Stereotypes, such as Emos, Scene Kids, Goths, Punks, and Misfits.
Coming to the end of my Bottle of topical mockery, I may as well bow out gracefully.
Karats
Entity
Rabbits
Youlgrave- The epic journey to, Starring Holly Upton. That is all.

Get in, retards. I'm ranting.

Afrikaanas... Nice accent.
BOOBS. good. yes, wife, I may have an obsession. BUT WHO CARES. Oh yeah and I'm straight too, biggots. ¬_¬
Cars. Never ever EVER follow me in front of them. You'll die, and I won't.
Dancing. I can't... but I will, embarrasingly for everyone except me. oh YAR.
Elephants... the baby's are cute, and the adults are baggy, and they're clever.
Flupradongle.Yeah... No, I don't know what it means...
Galloping. FUN. but LETHAL.
Hollay. The love of my life.
I, me, myself... not in that order...
Jumping. I CAN!
KKK all need to die. NAZIS.
Love... MY WIFE!!
Moooooo- The best filler-inner EVER.
NO. It's mine. I'm having it.
Oh very dear me!
Poo... *giggle*
Questions... who needs 'em? well... me... really...
Reggae... baby don't worry ABOUT A THING
SWEET MRS WIFE! *da da daa* GOOD TIMES NEVER FELT SO GOOOOD
T. MR T!
Up yours.
Valerie! or vandalism. or vancouver. or vegetables...
Woohoo!!
XOXOX
YOU: OH I, HAD, THE TIME OF MY LIIIFE, AND I OWE IT ALL TO- ahem.
Zzzz... Toodle pip.